Let’s talk girls v boys clothes

I recently hit the shops to refresh my son and daughter's Winter wardrobes and seeing what was available in stores reminded me of something I listened to a while back.

A woman was explaining the most common animals on boys t-shirts were sharks and dinosaurs and for girls they were rabbits and guinea pigs. Boys were the predators and girls were the prey.

Now this is just a snippet of the conversation that, more broadly, was about how gendered stereotypes harm girls’ confidence and how they see their place in the world (something I agree with) and then how those stereotypes show up in clothing. It's a topic that resonates with me.

On my recent shopping trip, I saw a lot of clothes with unicorns and fairies, love hearts and pink. I saw t-shirts with soccer balls and skulls. Jumpers featured wolves and there was a lot of blue and green.

Now this is a generalisation, but girls usually want to wear cute and colourful and frilly things. Boys like to wear things associated with sport and superheroes. I don't have a problem with that.

My son, when he was younger, only wanted to wear t-shirts with sharks, dinosaurs and trucks. He now mostly wears soccer kits and recently said he wanted to go shopping to find his style. We did and he picked what he wanted - pieces in blue, green, red and grey and none of them had sharks or dinosaurs on the front. My daughter wears clothing with unicorns and rainbows and wants all the tutus and sparkles. I buy what she'll wear because I want her to express her style and personality. 

Yes girls shorts are shorter, yes the sleeves are frillier, but I can tell you, my daughter will not wear looser fitting knee length shorts, or t-shirts with crocodiles or dragons on them. I'm letting my daughter be a little girl who likes rainbows and sparkles and all the sunshine in the world. She can have her unicorns and magic. I don't want that to be taken away from her. If someone is worried about the impact these styles will have, leave them on the shelves. Just don't buy the short shorts or the sequin skirt or the rabbits and guinea pigs. It doesn't have to become anything bigger than that, yet. Let kids be kids.

Before children end up on social media and are inundated with videos in which they compare and contrast, before they are exposed to gender bias and discrimination, can we let them be free of the complications to come?

Even before my children chose their own clothes, I went with items along gender lines because that's what I thought was cute. I never wondered whether I was turning my son into a predator or my daughter into prey. My husband and I will continue to teach our son to respect women and treat them as they deserve to be treated. We will teach our daughter to be strong and to stand up for herself. That's our job and not one we take lightly. 

I so desperately want things to be different for my daughter from wage discrepancies to rates of harassment in workplaces, to more women leading companies but, in my opinion, and I appreciate others have their own thoughts and are obviously entitled to them, I don’t think it starts with what she wants to wear as a little girl.

Now while this blog post has been all about kids, I have other posts with style info and inspo including whether skinny jeans are coming back, how to rediscover your style and which hangers you should use.